Don't Look Down Yourself, Don't Give Up

it's very free and fuking boring weekend,

memories fade away day by day,

so i decided to write down my story here,

maybe one day in the future, this post will be treasure for me.

erm.....my story begins from primary school lifetime.

every student craves to go into the best class in school,

better friends, better education, better teacher. so can get better result, so do i.

finally when i was primary 3, i joined second best class

that time i was damn happy, and quickly share the news with my parents.

my parents are very proud of me hahaa

HOWEVER

good things didn't always last long,

i was shocked and surprised after the student ranking had released,

yeah , i was the last one. @.@

i didn't know what to do? how to tell my parent? who knows

at that time,
i was quite ashamed and my parents were disappointed in me. 

Who knows the feeling to getting last? hahaha, only failure would.

last one in the class of course  would be demoted.

eventually, i was demoted to the worse class in primary 4.

but at the time, the school teachers were still very goods,

they still encourage us to study hard, we can still catch up, 

ya i love my primary school teachers too much

i miss them.

However, i failed them

i failed almost all the subjects in my UPSR exam

i remember i only passed Math hahaha

Nightmare comes.....

the worst class, the worst friends, the worst teachers all come together.....

i entered the worst class in my secondary school - REMOVE CLASS-

it is said by my friends who did not attend the REMOVE 

but i didn't think it is a worst class, i treat it as my freaking AWESOME class

This show how the Atmosphere there:

People:----

all gangsters, automatically, i became a gangster too

Teachers: -----

never had a good teachers, everyone looked down on us, we were just like Rubbish for them.

Class:------

mostly dirty in school, those teachers always announced we were the dirtiest class in the hall.

Homework:--

never had homework hahahaha

How other classes look us:----

Gangster !! can't be friends. HA

do you wanna join such a class like this? ya i did hahaha

ya, my road of failure did not end here.

my path of failure kept going , fail fail fail fail fail fail fail until PMR

ya, this time i got better results, i passed 3 subjects hahahaha, Math, English, and Chinese. better than UPSR. ya, actually failed again....disappointed my parents' expectation.

at form 3, are most student most ganjeong year, the results will determine where you go, eg: Geography class, Science class,Math class, the worst one is Art class , also called the last class,mmmm even worse called rubbish class.

i remember how stupid i was that time, i took my awesome result list to apply for the SCIENCE Class, the teacher got shocked after looking at my results. @.@ , the teachers gentle advised me go to MATH class, so i was so naive and took my result to apply for Math class. so while the teachers were looking to my result, i was sitting in the hall. suddenly, someone, a teacher made a announcement : " just now that student who failed 5 subjects that one, can you come forwards"  i was awkward moment and everyone was laughing at me, she told me I can't join the math class, only can join the Art class, what a fantastic name. "ART" means rubbish for them, but i don't think so. 

FORM 4 life- ART class

Art class in my school, everybody looks down on us, even teachers, students, and also the outsiders. 

ART class....the class of problem makers but, ya i like it. everybody look down on us, teacher don't teach, even they teach, they will show a very irritating and reluctant teaching style, they will mumble mumble.... said us were rubbish, nothing can cure us, and sometime encourage us!! wow, encourage us to withdrew from school. LOL 

in the last class, don't have accounting course, so i had join a tuition class which was taught by school teacher. after the school teacher realize i was from last school, she called me no need to attend the tuition class anymore, LOL, what a awesome teacher i had ever met. so at the time, i didn't take any accounting subject until my college time.

but i didn't give up, i love math, so i have bought over 3-4 math exercise books, try it everyday, do it over and over again and over again. at the end, 皇天不负苦新人，in the final math test, i got the highest mark in math in the whole school and my name was spread all over the school because i was from a rubbish class, "a rubbish student can get a highest mark". UNBELIEVABLE  

FORM 5

My Favorite teacher, a Malay teacher, taught us BM, the only one who didn't look down on us. the only one i can feel that he used his soul to teach us. the only one who really motivate us, the only one to gave value to our class.

he scold us, 

he rotan us, 

he mad at us, 

but we like him.

so i felt that i can't like this anymore, i had to try ever harder, 100 times harder to get a better result and and promise myself can't fail my teachers and parent anymore, my BM, never pass before since primary school hahaha.

SPM

Finally, 皇天不负苦新人 again, i got my best result, how best is it? i passed all the subject except Sejarah, for the best class, it is just a normal results, but for me,it is GREAT, i enjoy the greatest joy, happiest moment in my life and my teachers also proud of myself :D

sometime, you can learn even more things in the last/worst class, the things, the inspiration that you can't learn from the top and can't be taught too. 

sometime, get hurt, fall down, it's not a bad things.

i am proud of myself to prove that there is a hope in the last class

i am proud of myself now too

i am Bryan Low Chun Meng, from Tunku Abdul Rahman College. Advance Diploma Financial Accounting final year student, majoring in (ACCA) professional papers.

Sometimes, I can't help myself but to think that I'm useless.

It feels like there's nothing I can do well.

Where's the old me?

Or is it time to find the new me?

Losing my confidence

Losing my pride

I don't mean to be pessimistic

But I really feel like I'm losing myself.

I feel like a broken puzzle,

Pieces of me scattered around

I see all the pieces but I can do nothing

I guess what I can do now is to stay strong

Keep the remaining pieces together

And maybe someday,

Someone will be there to fix this broken puzzle

Sometimes, i can't help myself but i have already try my best, nothing to regret.

it feels like there 's nothing i can do well because no one is perfect.

Where's the old me?

or is it time to find the new me?

Losing my confidence. i'll build it !

Losing my pride? i'll get it back !

i will be optimistic.

but sometime really feel like i losing myself.

i feel like a broken puzzle

Pieces of me scattered around.

i see all the pieces and i fix it back 

i guess i have become stronger

keep remaining pieces together

and i'm sure someday

Someone will be there to fix the remaining puzzle together.